Tag: self esteem

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HOW TO BE YOU?

How to be you is about discovering and being your true self. Your life is lived based on what you were conditioned to growing up under the influence of those having authority over you. Your life and your perception of the world were shaped for you. Now, as a teenager or adult, you may challenge or question what you have been taught. In many situations, parents or family members expect you to live or behave in a way that aligns with what they believe is correct. Yet, it may not be what appeals to you. It’s not what you desire, and they criticize and nag at you, making you feel miserable and uncertain. Then some make demands of you to do or be something that you are not.

SELF ESTEEM

As a result of this pressure, your self-esteem is called into question. Some folks rebel, while others desire to please others. You do things to please others at your own expense. Holding to family tradition by becoming a lawyer may make Papa proud. But it creates animosity and regret because your passion was for being a schoolteacher. When you expressed your passion, you were told that tradition is important, or that being a teacher does not pay well. You caved in and are now living a life that feels unfulfilling and miserable.

There are many situations similar to the above. Some are worse, where you are made to feel inferior. You are told you are not good enough or lack talent or skills, and slowly you believe what others say about you. Your sense of self-worth is diminished, and you believe you are less than what you truly are. You are frustrated, angry, unhappy, and just plain miserable. You are attempting to live life through the eyes and opinions of others. They are not you! And they have no way of knowing what is best for you. Only you know based on your desires and passion.

YOUR LIFE

It is your life to live. You are a divine expression of All That Is, manifested in the physical to experience a full life based on your dreams and desires. You have the gift of Free Will, which is God’s Will, provided you do no harm. Your life is your responsibility and no one else’s. Every individual is responsible for themselves. Do not relinquish your responsibility to anyone.

Each expression of your divine Creator has been given the gift to co-create a life as they please. Each individual has different likes, interests. desires, talents, and skills. This was meant to be. Your life has a soul plan. You have a specific purpose to awaken to and fulfill. Your purpose does not have to be dynamic, but your gift of intuition, going within, listening, and feeling the nudges that guide you are blocked when you live by the demands of others.

PASSION

Passion is the key to becoming the true you as God intended. Find something in life that you are passionate about and do it. Keep doing it until the passion runs out. And then find something else that you are passionate about and keep doing it. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

When you live with passion, you are in harmony with your Creator because you are living a full, loving life that brings joy and happiness into creation. However, you will face obstacles and that is normal. The desire to continue moving forward, not giving up must be the driving force that keeps you going. Do not listen to naysayers. You know what you desire for life, and only you can make it happen no one else.

Some folks in life may have been beaten down to the point where they believe all is lost. False beliefs that it is too late, you are too old, or too poor prevent one from bettering their life. Or the thought of upsetting mom or dad, or grandfather, is unbearable. Breaking free from beliefs of this type may be impossible for those who lack the desperate will to be your own person, living life as you choose. It boils down to the fact: how badly do you desire to live life your way?

SELF DISCOVERY

For this author, self-discovery came when I falsely believed that I was too old for something better. I believed I had wasted my adult life and was in my mid-fifties, disabled, feeling hopeless with a desire to end it all. At the time of this pity party, I fell asleep. Upon waking, I felt the deep truth that I still wanted a life that meant something. I was not sure as to what that would be. Heck, I was so numbed down from living a life pleasing others that I did not even know who I was or wanted to be.

I began taking an inventory. Searching for what good I did in life and how it makes me feel. Surprisingly, I remembered a few events in my youth. Thinking I was not such a bad person as I currently believed. More remembrance came to light, creating a feeling of hope for myself. Eventually, I wrote out what type of person I desired to be moving forward. And if all was possible, what would I desire to do with the remainder of my life?

What I discovered and felt adamant about was that I did not want my life to end. I wanted something better to show for my being here on earth. This story is more involved for this article; however, my old life brought me to a make-or-break point. It cemented the desire to move forward to achieve what I was looking for.

Be strong, be tough, hold on to the truth that you are a divine expression of our Creator, you are worthy, you have purpose, you are loved, and you are free to live a full life as you deem fit.

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CHOICES: CAUSE AND EFFECT

Life is all about making choices. Each choice creates a cause and effect. The act of making a choice requires thought, emotion, and action within a framework that is either positive or negative. We make millions of creative choices every day, from what appears insignificant, such as what to have for dinner, to a major event such as purchasing a home. All have a collective creative consequence within your life, and often, we give little to no thought about them.

Positive and Negative Energy

All of creation, big or small, is a result of the manipulation of positive and negative energy. These energies vibrate at a high or low frequency and attract more of the same events and experiences accordingly in your life. Your thoughts and emotions determine the creative direction of the choices and decisions you act upon. For many who are unaware of the law of cause and effect, life is a creation by default.

Creating your life consciously is key to achieving your dreams and desires. However, it is easy to say watch your thoughts when your emotions also play a significant role. Our personalities, attitudes, and self-esteem together contribute to the creative outcome. If one angers easily and is prone to negativity, that is the energy put out, and that is what you will receive back in events or experiences. Thoughts and acts of love and kindness return to you in the same way. You receive what you put forth.

Energy generated individually moves outward into your life and beyond. It has a cumulative effect on the family and spreads outward into the community and beyond, like energy is attracted to itself.

Change is The Solution

Stating that change is the solution may seem obvious. You may think, well, I have been this way for most of my life, and I have a right to be angry or hurt because of what others have done or because of the pain I have been through. Anger, pain, and being wronged are some of life’s experiences. However, it is necessary to dig deep within oneself to work through these negative situations, as failure to do so is not an option for positive change. The solution is simple and obvious; the difficulty is mustering up the courage to change.

It is said, “Change your thoughts, change your life”. Wow, that is a no-brainer. But, how? Easier said than done. Aside from stating that discipline is key, setting the desire, and making and working a plan. There are a lot of psychological issues involved. No two people experience similar events or trauma in the same way. Some are more resilient and stronger than others. Then some are weaker due to self-esteem issues, or are prone to fear, doubt, and anxiety. Some are fighters and bounce back, while others cave in.

The Breaking Point

Then there is the breaking point. The push comes to shove, get off your butt, do or die situation of desperation. For this author, it took years of experiencing a negative life, the darkness of wanting to end it all. But the feeling of tiredness from the struggle was not as strong as my deep longing for a better life. Something inside me kept me desiring something more meaningful. It was a nagging and would not go away. You could say it was my soul, or my spirit guides, or angels, intuitively tugging at my innate desire to matter, to have a life worth living.

One night, when desperate, I did something I rarely do I prayed to Jesus, telling him what I desired, and that I did not want to give in to the dark. It was more conversation than a formal prayer. My answer came unexpectedly. You just have to pay attention to intuition and synchronicities.

There is goodness in all of us. God does not create junk, expressions of unworthiness. Those feelings come from our Ego, and a false understanding of who we believe we are. Remember, Cause and effect, what we think about, and the choices we make set in motion how one’s life will evolve. You have the mind and Will of God; you can make the change.

You are loved, do not give up. You are not alone.

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The False Self

Person holding a large cracked theatrical mask with a ghostly figure behind on a cobblestone street

The false self is known as your Ego. It was given to you so that you would forget who you are upon incarnating into the physical world. It allows you to feel a sense of separation from God. As you grow out of infancy and learn more about the world, the Ego feeds your thoughts of doubt, fear, and distrust. Depending on the environment in which you grow up, and those who have the power to influence your thoughts and beliefs, such as parents, teachers, and religious leaders affect the shaping of how you view the world and yourself in it.

Growing up, your parents taught you what they believed to be true and best for you. Being raised as a Catholic, or another faith, was their choice, not yours. Parents pass on beliefs based on their life experiences, according to their perception of what is best for you. Religious leaders teach you dogma and doctrine as interpreted by their type of religion. Yet as you become a young adult, you may discover new information that challenges what you were taught. Questions may arise, along with frustrations with the logic of certain teachings.

You entered this world and never volunteered to be within a specific religion. You had no choice about what you were taught, about which political party suited you, or if religion or spirituality was your own personal belief. You adapted them from those you believed had your best interests. But now you are older, a free thinker, and you are sensing guidance from above, via intuition or desire. Now the choice is yours. Humans have an inner urge in life to seek more, to learn and know more. It’s part of who you are. Because you are destined to awaken to the truth of your divinity. Your urgings, along with a sense of dissatisfaction with the status quo, are all part of your guidance from above.

Self Esteem

Your self-esteem, how you feel about yourself emotionally, can help you to overcome the ego’s false self. Are you strong in knowing what you desire from life? Do you feel good about yourself? And do you follow your own life path? If so, you are not letting negativity control you via ego or false thoughts. How you were raised, along with your inner strength or lack thereof, can make you free from, or a slave to your false self. Often, many who are insecure seek approval from others. Most times, they cannot make decisions for themselves and attempt to live their life through the eyes of others. When you give your personal power to others by following the crowd, you create misery for yourself. Do you worry about what others think about who you are, how you dress, or fit in with them? Do you avoid taking chances with new opportunities because mom or a friend told you that it was stupid or that you would fail?

If you are experiencing your life according to what others believe or tell you to do, you are living life their way. Not the way you dreamed and desired. You will become depressed and miserable because you will feel you are not accomplishing anything. Or that you are not good enough. People and family do not know any better. Never tell anyone about a desire for business or a project until you take action, as they will only find a way to sabotage it for you based on their own misguided beliefs. When you live life based on the approval or consent of others, you are living according to their view on life, not yours. It’s called living life through the eyes of others. It’s your life, not theirs.

Past Life Events

There are times when we reflect on past life events. Many are joyful, and they should be appreciated. However, those that are painful and dark should not be re-lived. Your false self will encourage you to dwell on old pain and regrets, stirring up memories that you rehash over and over. Staying in a mindset of pain, sorrow, frustration, anger, etc., recreates similar events in your life. Your past is simply a memory, and nothing can change it. Your future is just a potential that exists in your imagination. However, the present day is where we live, create, and experience. The future is forming itself based on what is happening now.

Your True Self

Your true self is that you are a divine manifestation of God, meant to experience life your way. You have the God-given gift to co-create, with no limitations, a life according to your dreams and desires. You are God in action, unlimited, with no negative thoughts to deter you. Your false self will feed you fear, doubt, and anger. It’s an attempt to prevent you from spiritually evolving. It exists as a challenge, meant for you to overcome as part of your life experience. There will always be success, roadblocks, and frustrations on your path. The key is, with which self will you deal with them? The most difficult thing in life is to be someone you are not.

Discipline

Discipline is the plan for moving forward. First of all, you must desire to create positive change. Because if you keep on doing what you’re doing, you will keep on getting what you’re getting. Accept the reality of your true self. Focus your thoughts on those that are positive, pleasant, and make you feel grateful. Some negative thoughts will find their way in. Recognize it for what it is and replace it with something pleasant and positive. Develop a plan of action and write a list of what you desire from life. Keep your focus on your dreams and desires. Love all that is good in your life, and maintain gratitude for the little things, a sunny day, your child’s smile, or the roof over your head. When you live life from a state of love and gratitude, you put forth positive energy. Remember, like energy attracts, more of the same into your life.

You were created to live and create a full life, to awaken to your divine self. Live with discipline from the foundation of your true self, and you will fulfill your purpose in life.

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