My spiritual awakening evolved from childhood. Having been raised in a strict catholic family and receiving a catholic education, I often was frustrated and had many questions. However, in the late nineteen-fifties and early sixties, you did not dare to challenge dogma, doctrine, or Church rituals. Since I was eight years old, I could never comprehend how saying a specific prayer multiple times would earn me credit towards my time in purgatory. Over time, I grew fearful as I always believed God was angry with people like me.
Despite my confusion and fear, I decided to enter the seminary for the priesthood. As many of my relatives were nuns, brothers, monks, and priests. Based on family tradition, I felt compelled to do the same and perhaps make a difference. During my first year, I struggled with the teachings as some did not feel logical. When I questioned why the bible stated something that contradicted what the church taught, I was told that the church decided that it should be their interpretation. Eventually, I was advised to contact my parents about leaving the seminary. Unfortunately, I had to return to a catholic school to finish out the year.
ADULTHOOD
In my adult years, I could never understand how one could relate to a supreme spiritual being. As I could not relate to it as I would to another human being, like a wife or child. Over the years, a nagging belief of my being unworthy continued, leading to a false belief of being condemned to hell
My spiritual awakening was a gradual and tedious process, as I entered my mid-thirties and forties, I sought out books on spirituality, etc. I searched and researched all that I could, but I failed to put much of what I learned into practice. Life events continued negatively, one disaster after another. After a serious head-on collision, I believed I was given a wake-up call. But I still could not relate to a loving God because I was taught to fear and continued feeling unworthy.
During the late sixties, I served in the Army and spent time in Vietnam. As a result of my service, I became disabled from Agent Orange chemical exposure. That, coupled with the car accident, made physical activity painful and limited my ability to work. Diabetes, Neuropathy, and Multiple Sclerosis led to exhaustion, pain, and depression. In my early fifties, I was tired of being exhausted and in pain. Sleepless nights prevailed, and I would often believe my life had no meaning. Simply because I was unproductive with no meaningful activity or purpose. I hated having to see my wife do chores that I, as a man, should be doing. Often, I would think that death was a better alternative.
Calling On Jesus
One usual sleepless and painful night, I began to cry out of frustration, upset as I did not want to die, but wished for purpose in what was left of my life. Not one for praying, I called out to Jesus, stating that I see many Christians loving God, happy with their relationship. I asked him if he could show me how to have a meaningful relationship with a Spiritual being. As, I have difficulty relating that way. I also stated that I desire to be of service to God and to have a life of purpose. Yes, I am a sinner and believe I am condemned, but can you guide me to what is truth and what I must do to turn my life around?
About three days later, I was sitting bored in the living room. I saw a book lying on the table across the room. Eventually, I went over, picked it up, gave a random flip through the pages, and began reading where it stopped. The chapter was about how to use a pendulum and explained how to use it and what questions to ask. I laughed and threw the book on the table, returning to the sofa. On the side table, I noticed my wife’s rosary beads. Picking them up, I held them in the air and wondered if I could make them move. Thinking that this could be sacrilegious, I went ahead and focused my intention on communicating with my Spirit guide. Lo and behold, it began moving back and forth, so I asked the necessary questions to determine yes and no answers. For the past thirteen years, my abilities expanded to what is called clear hearing, clear seeing, and the ability to heal others.
Jesus Answers
Jesus, unconventionally, answered my prayer. Through the help of my Spirit Guide, I am developing a stronger relationship with our Creator while learning spiritual truths. I have been physically healed from my Multiple Sclerosis and Neuropathy. My life now has purpose and meaning as I am to use my abilities to serve others as God intends.
What we have been taught and conditioned to believe is false. Religion and institutions within society dictate a false narrative and belief system. Jesus’s true teachings were erased from history, with a few exceptions such as the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Nag Hammadi hidden Gnostic Gospel texts. Jesus came to awaken us to the truth, not to save us from sin. He was crucified for teachings that proved religion was not necessary. As the Kingdom of God lives within you.
Please join me in continuing to discover the guidance and assistance provided by my Spirit Guide.
